The Hidden Bedroom
by almister12
Summary: Lieutenant Duckling AU: When Lieutenant Jones is drafted into the battle against King James, Princess Emma starts a dalliance with her guardian, Graham. But, what happens when the dashing Lieutenant comes back after a year away?
1. Part 1

Emma and Killian had a perfect love story.

The young princess had fallen for the dashing lieutenant. Their dalliance started with simple looks across the dining hall at her father's navy balls and quickly turned into hidden meetings, stolen glances, and passionate kisses. When the couple finally revealed the affair to the king and queen, Emma's parents could not have been happier. The whole kingdom immediately accepted the two's budding romance, and they were to be married in a little under three years, upon the princess' 21st birthday.

The princess and the lieutenant made sure to spend time together every day. They went for picnics in the garden, horseback rides across the beach, and walks throughout the castle. When they were lucky, Emma and Killian were able to abandon Graham, the princess' escort, and could share intimate moments in their favorite locked bedroom. It was in the far back corner in the tallest tower and overlooked the docks. Nobody knew about the concealed bedroom except for the two of them, and they could get lost in each other's arms for hours in there.

Killian and Emma would lie under the covers and talk about their future. He would draw circles right above her shoulder blade and pepper kisses on the opposite side of his neck while she would kiss the knuckles on his left hand, counting each one as her lips touched the bump.

He would talk of sailing the waters with her right by his side, looking out the window next to the bed and see adventure. She would talk about running the kingdom with him standing beside her, thinking of the masquerades and dinners they would host together. They would talk about the royal children they would have – three, two princes and a little princess – and the names they liked and didn't like.

Emma and Killian had a fairytale, and as each day grew closer and closer to their wedding, the two feel deeper and deeper in love.

* * *

Graham had been Emma's guardian since she was 14 and he 18. She thought of him as her best friend, and she told him everything. He shared just as much with her, as well. He was the first one she told about the lieutenant, he was the first one she went to for advice, and he was the only other person in the world, other than Killian, that she truly trusted. Six years later, he was still by her side every day, walking with her, talking with her, and guarding her with his life.

One day, Emma was walking in the hallways of the castle with Graham, talking about nothing in particular. They made their way through the main floor easily, and out into the garden. They followed the familiar brick path that circled into a ring, a beautiful statue of her grandfather and grandmother holding their baby mother in the center. They sat on the bench facing it.

Emma's legs were swinging while she laid her head on his shoulder. "Graham, why have I never seen you court a woman?"

Graham took a silent and large breath, stealing a quick look at the princess before answering. "I've never found the right person."

Emma linked her arm within his and squeezed. "Surely, there is someone in your life worth pursuing?"

"No one already untaken by another," he replied.

Emma turned to face him, a wide grin spreading across your face. "You should not resign so easily, Graham. I have no doubt you will find a lover, just as I have found Killian." Emma leaned over and bumped into him, causing him to lean to the left. "Perhaps you have an admirer you are not even aware of."

Graham didn't respond. Instead, he looked into the princess' face, studying every line and mark that he's already memorized by heart.

* * *

Her father's twin brother was the ruler of the kingdom across the sea. They never saw eye-to-eye, both always somewhat jealous of what the other had. It was only a matter of time before they both became kings of their respective empires and decided to declare war.

It was about three months from Emma's 21st birthday when her uncle made it official: he attacked their realm.

* * *

Emma was standing in the kitchen, sneaking a morning snack before her mother caught her or Graham figured out where she was. She popped two grapes into her mouth when the back door opened up, hitting the wall next to it with a loud crash.

Emma leaned over to see who it was and noticed Killian brushing himself off. Emma ran over to him, leaping into his arms and hugging him. She kissed him twice on the lips before leaning back. "You need to be quieter, next time, or my mother will hear you."

He did not respond to her lecture. Instead, he hastily grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the secret passageway, running to their hidden bedroom. Emma smiled, following her fiancé with light feet and a giddy heart. "You're eager this morning," she teased.

Once inside, Killian let go of her hand and started pacing the room, not looking at Emma. Emma started to reach for the right strap of her dress. "We can't be too long, Killian," she hooked her thumb under the red fabric and dragged it down her shoulder. "I am supposed to meet my mother in two hours for a morning tea." By now, the top of Emma's dress was settled down to her hips and she was reaching back to unlace her corset.

Killian turned to face her and reached into his coat pocket, presenting an exposed letter to her without saying a word. Emma stopped after pulling the string of her bow to walk over and take the envelope from his hand, opening it to see what was inside. She unfolded the tri-folded parchment.

_Lieutenant Jones,_

_**Important notice**__:_

_This letter is to inform you of your obligation to the King's navy. You are being summoned to fight honorably alongside your country in the war against King James. This is a privilege bestowed upon our most promising military personnel and we feel reassured you will defend our kingdom with great virtue._

_Please attend the pre-deployment physical on 14 August to determine your eligibility for battle._

_You must report to the pier outside of King David's castle at 0800 on 16 August for your naval departure and information on any further training._

_Sincerely, _

_Captain Eric of the Maritime Kingdom_

Emma read the letter three times before looking up at Killian, tears pooling heavily in her eyes. Killian was over by the window, staring at the sun rising above the pier they spent hours watching in bed. Emma ran over to him, grabbing him around the waist She held him there, breathing in his scent, attempting to memorize the smell.

Killian shrugged her off and backed up, finding a chair in the back corner and sitting down, putting both hands through his hair as he hunched over his body. "You're leaving me?" Emma choked out. She reached down to her waist and brought her dress back up until she was fully clothed again before walking over and kneeling before him.

"Aye," Killian said.

"For how long?" she asked.

"It know not," Killian lifted his head out of his hands, and Emma saw his puffy red face for the first time since he came over. "Indefinitely."

Emma grabbed both of his cheeks in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "I'll talk to my father, he'll excuse you. I know he will."

Killian took his hands and wrapped them around her wrists, bringing them away from his smooth, clean-shaven face. "Swan…"

"He's the king, he can choose whom he sends to war or not," she said, a fraud enthusiasm hidden behind her somber voice.

"That would be bad form, lass," Killian set their hands by his knees. "How would it look if I deferred my draft by having my betrothed princess ask her father to relieve me?"

"I don't care what it would look like," Emma cried. "You can't leave me, I won't let you."

"I have no choice," Killian shook his head.

"Deceive the doctor. Pretend you are unfit for battle," Emma pleaded. "Then they can't send you away!"

"You know there is no way for me to carry out such an elaborate hoax," he brought her hands up to his mouth and kissed softly. "I will be leaving in two days."

Emma stood up, dropping his right hand and tugging on his left, pulling him towards the door. "We'll get married today, right now." Emma's rationality flew out the door as soon as she read his letter. "We don't need a big ceremony, just you and me will be enough."

Killian dropped his hand, stopping in place and waiting for Emma to turn around to face him again. "Emma, you know I cannot wed you until you turn 21."

"I don't care, Killian! I'm only shy of 21 by three months. I can't let you go knowing I'm not your wife!" she nearly screamed.

He took three steps towards her and kissed her on the forehead. "We'll get married upon our reunion after we defeat King James. I promise." His voice was cold with uncertainty.

Emma shook her head. "I don't want to wait until then. We don't know when that will be."

"I'll write as often as I'm allowed and think of you every available moment," he said, taking his letter in his left hand before walking past her, towards the door. "I need to get my physical so I can be at the pier in two days."

"Killian, don't leave me. I can't be here without you," Emma begged. "Stay here, hide here. No one would find you!"

"And be beheaded simply because I did not want to leave my promised wife? Swan, this is an honorable thing to do, and I am an honorable man." He turned to look at her, his blue eyes overshadowed by the liquid forming around them. "I am a lieutenant in the King's navy, and I shall serve this country with pride. As my betrothed, you need to respect that."

Killian continued the last few steps to the doorway. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob, taking in a deep breath, clearly wanting to say something. Instead, he let it out slowly and walked out of the room.

Emma fell to the floor, kneeling with one hand covering each eye as tears flowed down onto her new dress. She found a shell that Killian had given her one day and threw it towards the window. The shell shattered into a million pieces, a visual representation of how her heart felt.

* * *

At 10:10, she floated her way into the parlor for morning tea with her mother. Graham was standing in the doorway, noticing her odd behavior, but knowing not to ask about it until they were alone.

Her mother was already sitting there, waiting for her. "Emma, what have I told you about being prompt for meetings? It poorly reflects you when you arrive late."

Emma didn't respond. She was too numb to think of anything to say back. Instead, her body trudged over to the chair opposite her mother and sat, crossing her legs in a motion so familiar she did not have to use her brain.

Her mother started talking about various topics. She had been trying to teach Emma about how to be a queen more vigorously recently, and she had taken it in stride, exceeding her mother's expectations. Today, Emma was just nodding, barely even looking at her mother with her mind elsewhere.

"Emma? Are you alright?" the Queen asked.

Emma shook her head, bringing her back to reality. "Not really, mother. I just don't feel very well. May I be excused for the day?"

"Oh, of course," she replied, surprised by her daughter's candor. "Graham, will you escort her back to her room?"

Graham walked into the room, "Yes, your majesty. Emma," he dipped his head while holding out his arm in a gesture for her to leave.

Emma quickly curtsied before she strolled out of the room, less enthusiastic than she usually displayed. Graham followed her close behind, bowing to the queen before leaving the room.

The two friends walked down the hallway, Emma barely keeping a straight face. Graham was looking at her with curious eyes before making the rash decision to pull the princess into a closet, closing the door behind them.

"Tell me, princess. What has you acting like this?" he asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Graham."

He grabbed both of her shoulders. "You and I have known each other and spent every day together for the past six years. I know when there is something wrong."

Emma shook her head, stinging water flowing out of her eyes again. "It's Killian."

"What did he do to you? Has he hurt you?" Graham's eyebrows dipped into a frown as an unwarranted angry face appeared.

"No, I mean yes, but not in that way," Emma looked at her hands. "Killian's been drafted. He's leaving for the war against King James in two days."

Graham pulled her body into his, covering ever inch of her in his muscular chest. Emma finally let her tears fall, burying her face into his shirt. "I don't know when he'll be back," she cried.

Graham started to stroke her long, blonde hair, still holding her with his other hand. "There's nothing you can do," he said. He took a deep breath, trying to calm Emma's suddenly shallow breathing and rapid heartbeat.

"There is, though, but he refuses to allow me to ask my father to pardon him from the battle." Emma wiped her tears on his shirt to allow more to flow. "I don't want him to go." She tucked her head onto his chest, attempting to relax so they could leave the closet, unsuccessfully.

She pulled away and sat down on the closet floor, sitting cross-legged and guiding Graham down as well. The closet was larger and there was plenty of room for the both of them to sit comfortably. "What am I supposed to do?"

"There's not much you can do. You'll have to wait here and perform your princess duties and, before you know it, Killian will be back." Graham put his hand on her knee. "I promise, with all of my soul, he'll come back. And until then, you'll have me."

Emma smiled, sadly, and put her hand over his. "Thank you, Graham. You are a remarkable friend," she gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. "I hope you find someone soon. You deserve it."

Emma stood up and left the closet, wiping away her tears and drippy nose. Graham still sat on the floor while he saw the door close. He rubbed his cheek where her lips just pecked, closing his eyes in pain as he stood up to leave the room.

* * *

_**2 days later…**_

The princess was standing on the docks, holding the arms of her fiancé and looking deep into his eyes. He gave her a smile and lifted up his left hand to wipe away a tear from her face. "I'll be back, please don't cry. I don't want my last memory of you to be your eyes red with tears."

"I can't help it," she replied. "I'm going to miss you so much." Emma leaned forward until her head was resting against his naval uniform. He brought his arms around her for a hug.

"I love you, Swan." Killian stroked her hair, pulling her in closer to his body. "I will think about you every day."

Emma smiled into his chest. "I love you too, Killian."

The tune of her father's navy trumpet rang, and Emma knew that her lieutenant had to leave. She leaned back, imprinting every dip and turn of his face into her memory. He leaned down, brushing his lips across Emma's. She moved her hands up until her hands were in his hair, pushing him further down onto him.

The trumpet rang again, and Emma pulled back. "I think you have to go," she said, sadly.

"I love you, Princess." Killian repeated, backing up and putting his cap on his head while grabbing his only bag he was allowed to bring. He walked towards the pier until he made it to the boat. With one last look, he nodded his head at Emma before walking onto the ship.

Emma's lip started to tremble as she watched him disappear.

She turned and saw Graham in the distance, guarding her from afar. She made sure to snake through the crowd until she was hidden from his view before sprinting towards the bedroom that she and Killian spent so many moments together.

She came up to the window and watched as the boat started to sail away, fading off into the horizon across the water. "I love you, Lieutenant."

* * *

The first night was the hardest. Emma cried in her room the entire night. Graham, in the next room over, heard the soft whimpers from beyond the wall, and wanted nothing more than to go in there and comfort her.

His heart broke for the princess, knowing how it felt to have the person you love just out of reach. To know that they are mere inches away, but somehow, it didn't work out.

* * *

_**Three months later, the day before Emma's 21**__**st**__** birthday.**_

The days had gotten easier for Emma. Killian wrote, as he had promised, and the pain from him leaving turned into pride, knowing her true love was proudly serving her parent's country.

She also had Graham for help. He knew exactly what to say when her face started to droop, and he was so protective of her. She couldn't have asked for a better man to be her guardian, knowing that he would always be there for her when she needed him.

"Princess, are you excited for tomorrow?" Graham asked. "It's your 21st birthday."

Emma looked at him. "Not really. I don't really have anything to look forward to."

"Oh, please. There must be something you're looking forward to. Your parents are throwing that huge ball for you! It's going to be very fun," Graham said as he smiled at her.

"I suppose. My mother bought me a new dress that I have yet to wear. I am excited to debut it tomorrow," Emma smiled back.

There was a knock at the door. Emma turned to find Ruby, her handmaiden, standing before her, bowing. "Princess, you have some visitors at the door."

Emma rolled her eyes, standing up. "I don't want any more birthday wishes." She walked out of the room, followed by Graham, and finally Ruby.

When they were at the palace entrance, Emma saw two men in naval uniforms, similar to Killian's, standing on the red carpet. Emma, curious, walked down the long staircase until she met them. "May I help you?" she asked.

The taller soldier handed an envelope to Emma after bowing towards her. "This is for you, Princess Emma."

Emma, puzzled at their presence, accepted the envelope, turning it over and opening it up. She began reading the letters written on the paper.

_Princess Emma,_

_It is our regret to inform you that Lieutenant Jones has gone missing in battle._

_Lieutenant Jones has not been seen since an unexpected explosion two weeks ago. We will continue to look for him, along with several other officers, but have had little success thus far. If we have not found him in three weeks, he will be pronounced deceased, and the search will be called off._

_The entire King's Navy gives our condolences._

_Sincerely,_

_Captain Eric of the Maritime Kingdom_

Emma covered her mouth before dropping the papers from her hand, as if letting them fall to the ground made them less true. She turned towards the two officers before hitting the one who gave her the letter. She then looked at the other one, her voice wavering with sadness, and said, "Get out of my castle. Get out of my kingdom. I never want to see either of you ever again." Neither of them moved. "Go! Before I call the guards!"

"But princess…" the shorter officer said.

"I said, get out." Ruby guided the two men out the front door as Emma turned to Graham. His face was anxious with curiosity as to what had Emma so upset. He was about to ask when she slapped him across his cheek.

"Ow! What was that for?" Graham asked.

"You told me he would come home," she cried, her voice cracking every other word. "You promised me that Killian would come back." Emma brought her hand up to slap him again, but he grabbed her wrist before she could swing. "Let go of me!"

"Emma, stop." Graham said.

"I said LET GO!" Emma screamed, kicking him in the shin and walking past him. She started running through the corridors until she came upon the passage to the secret bedroom. She climbed up the stairs before entering, falling immediately on the bed on her stomach, her eyes making the comforter damp with her tears.

"So, this is where the two of you would go," Graham looked around the room after entering moments later. "I always wondered where you went when you wanted to get away from me for some intimacy." He took a step in the room and started walking around, looking at all the knick-knacks on the tables and finally coming to the large window overlooking the sea. "What a beautiful view."

"Get out of here, Graham. In the morning, I will be requesting a new guardian, and you'll be relieved of your duties." Emma sat up on the bed. "You lied to me."

"Emma…" Graham walked over until he was sitting right next to her. He reached an arm over her shoulder and guided her head onto his shoulder. "You should be proud. He died an honorable man."

"He shouldn't have died at all. If I had just talked to my father like I had wanted –"

"Killian would have resented you forever. He died serving our country. There is no higher honor than that." Graham started brushing her hair with his rough hand. "You should hold your head in dignity rather than blame others."

"I loved him," Emma said. "He shouldn't have died."

"No, he shouldn't have," he agreed. "No, he shouldn't have."


	2. Part 2

_**Eight months later…**_

Emma and Graham were hidden behind a corner one night, lips glued together in a deep kiss. The tapping of high heels came across the wooden floor, and the both of them paused, steadying their breathing and staying quiet. Emma even covered her lips with her hand to ensure her silence.

Once the intruder passed, Emma giggled. "That was close," she smiled at Graham, wiping her thumb across his lips to brush away the red lipstick covering his mouth.

Graham only leaned down to kiss her again, briefly taking her bottom lips between his teeth. "I live for danger."

Emma teasingly slapped his chest before looking back up at him. She had become quite smitten with the man. He was there for her through everything, the man she knew most in the world. She knew she didn't need someone in her life to be happy, but having Graham felt good, anyway.

Emma had taken three months to grieve Killian's death. Her heart broke every day for those 90 days until she realized that Killian would want her to be happy. He would be devastated to find out she was wallowing in her room, shutting everyone out just because of him. So, one morning, she woke up and started her life over again.

Graham, who had been by her side her entire depression proclaimed his affection for her once he knew she let Killian go. Emma was shocked at first, but then realized she had similar feelings for him – she had just been blinded by the lieutenant.

Graham and Emma started a hidden romance. It was much easier for the two of them than Killian and Emma's had been, since they didn't have to sneak away from a bodyguard to kiss in a closet or hold hands in the garden. They had to be together anyway, and no one suspected the two of them to have anything more than the friendship they had before.

Graham smiled at her. "I've desired this for so long, princess."

She grinned back. "I wish I hadn't wasted so many years unaware of my own admiration for you."

The two of them started kissing again, only stopping for seconds at a time to breathe. Emma had to admit she enjoyed kissing the man – for someone she had never seen pursue anyone, he definitely knew what he was doing.

They heard another pair of footsteps walking down the hallway, and the two of them had to stop again. Emma had difficulty slowing her breathing the second time, and once these shoes also passed, she threw her hands up in exasperation. She grabbed Graham's hand and tugged him away from their secluded spot. "This isn't working," she said as she guided him through the castle and up staircases until she came to the back corner of the tallest tower.

She didn't even hesitate when she opened the bedroom door, untouched since the day she found out Killian passed away. She refused to go near the room in fear that she would regress back to her depressive state. But she was happy now, with Graham, and she no longer wanted to live in the past.

So, upon entering the room, Emma pulled Graham in and slammed him against the door, throwing her lips back onto his and kissing him more passionately than before.

Emma had been thinking about it often, but hadn't taken the final leap with Graham that she had with Killian. She wanted to, but she didn't know how to bring it up. With Killian it had been easy – it just happened one evening, and then kept happening after that. With Graham, it was different. He was more sensitive than Killian, needed more insurance. But she had gone months dating this man, and all she wanted to do was show how much she appreciated him.

Emma, still keeping her lips on his, subtly pulled down his jacket and let it land on the floor by the door. She then grabbed the collars of his shirt and pulled him towards the bed until she fell on it, tugging him on top of her.

Graham pulled back, giving Emma a confused face. She lifted up her head to continue the kiss, this time bringing her hands to start unlacing the front of her royal blue dress. Emma thought Graham had originally responded until he brought both of her arms above her head with a single one of his, once again pulling back to look at her.

"What are you doing?" Graham asked, licking his pink-tinged lips and bringing his available hand up to dry it.

Emma smiled at him. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Are you sure about this?" Graham looked hesitant, turning his head to the left.

"I was, until right now. Why don't you want to?" Emma asked, uncertainty and rejection growing in the pit of her stomach.

"I do! I do, I just… Here?" Graham looked around the room as if trying to remind her where they are. "I mean, this was your _special place_ with Killian."

Emma nodded. "True, it was." Using all of her stomach muscles, she brought herself up until her mouth was right by his ear. "But I really only liked it because no one could hear anything while we were up here." She nipped at his ear playfully before resting back on the bed. "Besides, if I was to avoid everything that reminded me of Killian, I would have never allowed myself to fall for you."

"Oh, so you've fallen for me?" Graham joked, a huge grin covering his face.

"Almost. I was going to make it official tonight, but you're resilience is making it quite difficult," she licked her lips in the way she knew Graham liked, a heat in her stomach boiling, her desire becoming too much to bear.

Suddenly, Graham's mouth was on Emma's again, hungrier than ever. He started tugging at the little bow at the top of Emma's dress, unlacing it with ease. Emma started unbuttoning his shirt, gliding a single finger along the lines of his abs once open. The kisses became fierce and erratic and, before either of them knew how it happened, their clothing was pooled across the floor in random puddles in the hidden room.

* * *

Emma and Graham lied in the bed, heavily sated. They were cuddling and holding each other in their arms, the sheets draped over only enough to barely cover them. Emma was continuing to follow the paths of his stomach slowly while he kept running his hand through her hair, threading his fingers and pulling out, over and over.

It had been a whole new experience with Graham than it had been with Killian. With Killian, it had been passionate, neither one of them able to get enough of the other. It was natural, emotional, and enjoyable. She always felt loved during the entire sexual adventure.

With Graham, it was gentle. Their lovemaking showed vulnerability, hope, and new beginnings. It was exactly the type of experience she needed for her first night with a man other than Killian.

"You're so beautiful," Graham whispered before kissing the crown of her head. Emma beamed into his chest while continuing her hand's mindless motion across his bare chest. "I love you, Princess."

Emma's breath hitched, only enough that she was able to tell. They hadn't used those words yet, but it wasn't for a lack of the emotions. Instead, both were scared to verbally say them; Graham did not want to push her so soon after Killian's death and Emma couldn't bring herself to say it. It wasn't that she didn't feel that way about Graham. She just didn't think she would say that to someone, ever again. Emma was afraid that if she allowed herself the satisfaction of falling in love, she would only feel the heartbreak that scarred her when she got the letter about Killian.

Emma, hoping he hadn't noticed her hesitation, simply leaned up and kissed him. He responded eagerly, not realizing she hadn't said the words back. They stayed in the new position for a while, until the two of them could barely hold their eyes open anymore.

"We've been missing for a while. We should return before your parents become concerned," Graham said, regretting the decision to move from the bed as he pulled away from her. He reached over the bed and found all of her clothes. He helped her dress, purposefully taking an abnormal amount of time to help with the corset. Emma smiled to herself, knowing she could have gotten dressed by herself, but enjoying the physical contact between her and Graham, missing so deeply this type of intimacy with someone.

Emma helped him retrieve his clothing and assisted in his redressing. Upon measuring each other to make sure no one could speculate what they had been doing, they reached for each other's hands and walked out the door, finding the way to her proper bedroom for a final kiss goodnight.

* * *

Their visits to the hidden room became more frequent, eventually becoming a daily occurrence. Emma thoroughly enjoyed their time together, basking in the knowledge that he could make her happy again.

However, every time he said, "I love you," Emma would not return the remark. Instead, she would kiss him, hug him, smile at him, guide them to the secret spot, or make an excuse as to why they had to be somewhere else.

Graham hadn't noticed at first. He was too in love with her to become aware of her lack of response. He would blindly follow her lead with however she decided to answer.

Until one day he did notice. He started to experiment, taking note as to her habits upon his words. Finally, after another satisfying afternoon of lovemaking, Graham asked her about it. "Why don't you respond when I say I love you?"

Emma paused before sitting up, ignoring the blanket and letting it fall to the bed, exposing her bare chest to him, and hoping it would divert his attention. "I don't know what you mean," she said, trying to play dumb.

"Whenever I say _I love you_, you distract me in some way. I only recently noticed it," he explained, sitting up alongside her, ignoring his own desire to pounce on her. "I want to know why."

"I really care for you, Graham," she brought her arms to his face to draw his head in for a kiss, but his power outweighed her strength.

"Do you not love me?" Graham asked, a dip in his voice at the word love, making Emma's heart crumble. She didn't want to hurt him, she treasured him too much.

"I do… I have a difficult time saying it, though." Emma trailed off, looking away from him.

"I used to hear you say it to Killian very often," he said. "Quite easily, at that."

"Is that what this is about? You don't think I can love another like I loved Killian?" she asked, her eyes now on his again.

Graham nodded, slowly. "What else am I supposed to think, Emma?"

"You're supposed to realize that he's dead and never coming back. You're supposed to realize that I enjoy being with you. You're supposed to realize that I love you without me having the say the actual words." Emma reached her arm up to cup his chin. "I would not be here with you right now, nude in this hidden room, if I did not love you."

Graham shook his head into her hand, unable to smile, and bent over until he pressed his lips across her forehead.

* * *

_**Five months later…**_

Emma and Graham were walking hand in hand in the open. They had been caught one day by Ruby, who immediately told her mother. The queen could not have been happier, and, before Emma knew what was happening, her mother was preparing another ball, announcing the two's engagement.

It was happening a little fast, but Emma was not 18 when she started her dalliance with Graham like she had with Killian. She was getting older, and it was her duty to wed and bear heirs to the throne. She knew that this had to go fast for the kingdom's sake.

Graham was nervous for tonight, for it was the first time he was attending a ball not as a guardian, but as a guest, and a guest of honor at that. Emma soothed him, helping him get ready and prepare for the celebration.

The entire evening, Emma and Graham danced together. It was the perfect ball, and Emma could not remember a dance she enjoyed more than this one. The music accented the decorations, the food mirrored the theme. Emma was loving every moment of it, and loving it even more knowing that it was because of Graham's love that the party was occurring.

Emma and Graham were on the dance floor when she was interrupted by Ruby, tapping her shoulder twice. "Sorry, princess, but I must request you to come with me. You have a guest at the front entrance."

Emma turned towards her handmaiden. "Tell them to come to the ball! Whomever it is doesn't need me to escort them in."

"Please, princess." Ruby begged. Emma sighed, kissing Graham on the cheek lightly before silently telling him she'll be right back.

Emma and Ruby followed the familiar path to the door. "Why couldn't this person just come in? It's a celebration, after all!"

"He wasn't invited," Ruby responded. "And I don't think he wanted to cause a scene."

Emma looked at her curiously before continuing down the hallways. "Whomever it is will receive a good lecture on the appropriate times to drop in on someone." Emma huffed as she came to the top of the grand staircase, leading to the front gate.

There stood a lone man, his right leg bent and a crutch under his left arm. He had a bandage wrapped around his left arm, his hand missing, and his right arm was in a sling. His hair was shaggy from the back, and he waited patiently for the princess to arrive.

"Who are you?" she called out when she was midway down the staircase. "Why have you interrupted my celebration?"

The man slowly turned his face around. Dark stubble covered the lower half of his face while cuts and bruises encrusted his neck and forehead. He gave her a longing look before hopping around to completely face her.

Emma drew her breath in before running at a faster pace than she knew she had. She nearly tripped before landing on the main floor, dashing over to the man and grabbing him into a tight hug. He almost fell backwards before regaining his balance by securing his body onto hers.

Emma looked up and him and started kissing his face, the slight beard tickling her face as she drew him in closer and closer. She refused to let him go, she couldn't, not again.

"Lass, this is your engagement celebration," the man choked out in between the pauses of her kisses.

"I don't care," she said softly before grabbing him in for another kiss.

The man chuckled before leaning back. "I think your betrothed will care."

Emma's mind didn't even flutter back to Graham at his comment. All she wanted to do was hold on to the man who has suddenly returned back into her life.

She finally stopped kissing him. "Killian, you came back."

"I promised you I would, Swan, and I always honor my promises."

* * *

Emma turned to Ruby, standing and silently watching their reunion. "Tell Graham I have to take care of something urgent, anything." Emma shook her head, trying to figure out a better lie, unsuccessfully. "Just, tell him I'll be back when I'm available. And don't tell anyone Killian's back." Ruby curtsied and started to walk up the staircase, back towards the celebration, where citizens all across the country were unaware what was happening at the front entrance.

Emma looked back at Killian, smiling. "Come with me, Lieutenant."

"As you wish," Killian replied, using his crutch to slowly follow her. Emma had to slow down due to his handicapped state, but she did not care. She would rather walk at the speed of a snail than as fast as a cheetah if it meant Killian was back.

She found the secret passage easily and helped him inside, nearly carrying him throughout the sharp turns, narrow hallways, and steep stairs. Every few steps, Killian would wince, but when she asked if he was okay, he just replied, "Never better."

Once they got in the room, Killian hopped over to the bed, lying down on the white sheets and letting out a long breath that Emma hadn't known he had taken. His eyes scrunched together in pain while Emma helped him get comfortable. He looked around the room, noticing the changes that she and Graham had made.

"You've redecorated," Killian observed. Emma nodded, guilt-ridden behind her eyes. "It almost looks like a completely different room."

Emma's throat was burning and her eyes started to water. Her conscience was tugging at her while she looked at the man whom she presumed to be dead, regretting every moment she had been in here with Graham. "I was told you were dead."

Killian started to reach his left arm up to wipe away the tears before remembering he no longer had a hand. He quickly hid it under the covers before reaching up his right one, brushing her cheek with a somber face. "There were times I wished I was. But in those moments, I thought of your face, and reminded myself why I needed to carry on."

Emma nearly jumped on his face, kissing him without any control. "Don't ever leave me again," she kissed him, "I won't let you go next time," kiss, "I missed you so much," kiss, "I love you, Killian Jones." Emma continued to kiss him, lifting her body up and over him until she was straddling him, her ball gown flowing heavily on both sides of his chest while she leaned down to keep her face kissing his.

Killian kissed back, eagerly, loving every second of contact between the two. He kept his one hand hidden as he ran his right hand up and down her back, pulling her closer as if to make sure she wasn't a dream.

Emma, too eager and without hesitation, ripped off her ball gown, only barely untying the string before it was wrinkled and thrown across the room. Killian seemed just as enthusiastic, because his hand was all over her now bare shoulders.

He stopped suddenly. "Emma, I don't think I am able to do this properly in my state," he said, gesturing to his damaged body.

Emma leaned down until her face was nearly touching his, "Let me do all the work, then."

Killian nodded, uncertainty in his eyes until he watched as she removed her corset. "I've waited so long for this, Swan," he whispered when Emma started kissing his neck.

She sat up, looking down at him. "Me, too." She gave him a deep grin before going back to her previous position, the celebration going on three floors below her the last thing on their minds.

* * *

Emma and Killian were panting deeply as Emma rolled off of him, both smiling with love shining in their eyes. "I _really_ missed that," Emma teased, snuggling into Killian while his left arm hugged her closer.

Emma started drawing circles on his chest while Killian started to brush his arm up and down her bare back before he remembered his hand was missing. He quickly pulled it away from her, tucking it under the pillow. He concealed his handless arm in such a way that it almost looked whole if no one lifted up the cushion hiding it.

Emma, noticing the lack of physical contact, turned her back to look at the hidden arm. She grabbed it and brought it around her head until it was lying on top of her body. She looked back at Killian. "How did this happen?" she asked.

He quickly pulled it out of her arms, tucking it into his body and covering it with his other hand. "You wouldn't wish to hear the tale, lass."

Emma kissed his lips before staying, "Yes, I would."

He took a deep breath before beginning. "I was in an explosion," he started.

Emma nodded. "That's when I was told you were dead," she choked out the words, the memory of the two officers coming to her door and telling her the news and her irrational reaction flooding to the front of her mind.

"Well, I was captured by pirates and taken to a cave far away from the battle, to an area no one would think to look for me. They tortured me, Emma." He looked at his body, as if showing her all the cuts that she must have missed. "I refused to give them information one morning, and they simply cut off my hand."

"Can I see it?" Emma asked, her eyes wide with bewilderment.

Killian shook his head. "It's ugly, Swan. You don't want to see it."

Emma grabbed his wrapped arm and started unwinding it. Killian had resisted at first before finally allowing her to discard the white bandage. Emma took a slight breath at the sight of the jagged skin, scarred from improper treatment and a year without therapy. Killian closed his eyes, the emotional torment spawned across his face. It looked as if it took every ounce of his mental being to allow her to see it.

Instead of throwing it in fear, Emma started stroking the tip of the stump before brushing her lips across it. "I don't care if you are lacking a hand, Killian." She turned her eyes back at his still shut face. Continuing to hold his arm with one hand, she reached her hand out to pull his head to look at her. "My heart does not beat for you being physically complete. It beats for the man behind the blue eyes, behind the scars. I love you for you, Killian, and you could have come back here with much worse than just a missing hand and I would have still loved you just as much."

Killian finally looked at her, tears in his eyes. "It was hell there, Emma. I have nightmares every night."

"Then I shall have to chase those terrors away and remind you what dreams should be."

"I've changed. I have much darker thoughts now. I'm not the lighthearted lieutenant you fell in love with, Emma. There is a wickedness that has clouded my heart. I think about revenge in every spare moment. I don't feel like me anymore." Killian let out a big breath, watching Emma's thumb caress his rough skin.

"You'll get through this – we'll get through this. Killian, all I care about is that you're back here with me. This darkness that has overcome you is just an obstacle we'll get through. You'll see, everything will be okay."

Killian perked up when he started to hear the light footsteps of someone walking up the passageway. He turned towards the door, a wariness covering his face. "Does someone other than us know about this room?"

Emma looked at him before realizing that she has been gone far too long from the engagement celebration. She quickly jumped out of bed, ignoring her nude state, and locked the door. She grabbed Killian and, doing her best not to hurt him, brought him over to the closet, hiding him in there and throwing his clothes with him. "Be quiet, don't move." Emma whispered before closing the door.

She knew she didn't have enough time to redress before the visitor reached the room, so she dived into the bed and posed in the most seductive position she could think of, waiting to hear the doorknob jiggle. "Emma?" she heard a voice call from the other side of the door. She didn't answer, only waiting for him to use his skeleton key to open the door.

When the door swung open he looked around before seeing Emma lying on the bed. "Hello," Emma said, trying to use an alluring voice. "I was wondering when you'd come find me." She patted the bed in front of her, hoping he would not take the bait.

"Do you really think this is the most appropriate time for such acts?" He walked over to her, smiling before sitting on the bed. "As much as I would love to, we really should be getting back to the ball. You've been gone for nearly three hours, and your parents want to make a speech about the engagement."

Emma tried to look disappointed. "I suppose you're right," she sat up, keeping her body covered from him. "Could you pass me my corset?" she asked.

Graham smiled. "I could help you put it on, if you'd like." He picked it and started to open it for her.

"No need," she said, a little too quickly. She noticed his face dropped. "I mean, you should go back to my parents and tell them you found me. I'll be right there."

Graham shrugged and tossed her the undergarment before turning to leave the room. Once the door shut, she quickly put the tight clothing around her waist before going to the closet and opening the door. "A little help, Killian?" she asked.

He stared at her. "_Graham_ is your betrothed?" he went to grab the string with his only hand and, with much difficulty and frustration, he finally got it laced and tied with the help of his teeth.

Emma didn't respond at first. She went over to the floor and grabbed her ball gown, throwing it over her body and turning towards him. "I thought you'd want me to move on," she said, knowing that choosing him for a partner would sting Killian the most.

"But with _Graham_?"

Emma walked over to him and kissed his cheek. "It matters not with whom. You're back."

"It matters to me," Killian said, sadly. "I thought of you every day and every night when I was not being threatened, and not once did I think you'd betray me with Graham."

"I didn't betray you, Killian." Emma cupped his cheek before turning towards the door. "I'll be back tonight when Graham is asleep. We can talk more about it then." She gave him one more peck on his lips before turning out the door, walking towards the celebration. "Please, please do not go anywhere," she begged.

* * *

Emma went back to the dining hall and saw all of the guests still there. She walked up to her mother, kissing her on the cheek, before walking to her father and giving him a hug. She then went over and stood awkwardly by Graham.

Trumpets sounded as the music died down. Her mother was the first to speak. "Our daughter, Emma, had lost the life of her first betrothed almost a year ago. We thought she would not be able to move on, and we were afraid the country would die without an heir."

Her father chimed in. "We began so see a change in her ten months ago, and we thought she had simply gone on with her life. Little did we know that she had fallen in love with her own escort, Graham." Graham nodded his head and smiled.

"Their affair carried on much longer than anyone would have suspected. Once we found out, we could not have been more pleased. We immediately gave them our blessing, and here we are today, celebrating their engagement."

The king turned towards his daughter and her fiancé. "Emma, Graham, we have a surprise for you."

"We have decided to allow you to wed in three days time. Our gift to you is that we are not making you wait like we had last time. We are proud to announce that Emma and Graham will be married this Sunday." She turned to her daughter, beaming. Emma looked panicked, turning to her father who was equally smiling, and finally at Graham.

Her breathing was becoming short and quick. She could barely think as she plastered a smile on her face for her clapping guests. Graham grabbed her hand and squeezed it before guiding her onto the dance floor, oblivious to her anxiety because of his own thoughts.

She danced without looking at him, tripping over herself one too many times due to her lack of concentration. Graham looked at her with a skeptical face before bowing to her and whispering in her ear, "Shall we take a break?" Emma merely nodded before they left the ballroom to go towards the courtyard.

They walked Graham helped her sit on the bench they had sat over a year ago, talking about Graham's lack of courtship. Now, they were engaged, and about to be married in three days.

"That was unexpected," Graham said, looking at the big statue.

Emma shook her head in agreement. "I thought I had more time." When Graham gave her a look, Emma quickly changed her sentence. "To plan for the wedding. I haven't made any preparations."

Graham seemed to accept that, knowing a bride takes great pride in planning a gorgeous wedding. "It sounds like they've done a lot for you, that we're only going to need to show up and everything else will be ready for us."

Emma turned to him. "Are you at all nervous, Graham? Don't you think this is a little too fast?"

"Not really, but I suppose I've wanted this longer than you have. I've known I longed to marry you when you were only 16. Of course, you had Killian at the time," Emma's breath hitched, enough for Graham to notice. "Is this about Killian?"

Emma smiled, putting her hand up to his chin. "Of course not. Why would this be about Killian?" She pulled him in for an unenthusiastic kiss.

"I never feel like you love me as much as Killian, Emma. I know he's dead and I shouldn't worry about him threatening our love or our life, but I can't help but be jealous of the man who originally won your heart." Graham confessed.

Emma stared at him, guilt tying her stomach in knots as she thought about the man in the tower, waiting for her to come back after making love to him while her betrothed was just downstairs. "It's not fair for you to feel that way, Graham." She couldn't look at him, so instead she stared at her shoes and kicking the brick road.

"I know, and I don't want to feel this way, either. There is always something at the back of my mind that clouds my judgment, that makes me fear you'll leave me." Tears started to gather in his eyes. "I love you so much, Emma, and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you in my life."

Emma looked back at him, tears now forming in her eyes. "Why are you saying all of this now? Of all times, why now? We have been in a relationship for ten months, and this is the first time I'm hearing of this."

Graham settled his head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. "Because the wedding has made it real. I knew we were betrothed, I knew that we were courting, but something about a date being set, and it so close, makes me afraid."

Emma started rubbing his back. "Don't worry, Graham. I won't leave you," she said, her heart ripping at the sight of him. "You mean too much to me."

Graham wiped his eyes before looking at her, a closed smile watching her. He leaned over to her and kissed her. Emma didn't respond at first, but eventually fell into it, enjoying the warm feelings of his lips on her mouth.

* * *

Killian picked up his crutch and walked over to the window, looking out at the sea that he and Emma spent days gazing at. His eyes fell down to the courtyard where he focused on two people – a man and a woman – sitting on a bench, kissing. He took a sharp breath when he realized who they were.

Emma and Graham.

The evil that had resided in him overtook his heart. He was no longer Lieutenant Jones, the hopeful naval soldier in love with the princess.

He was now a vengeful pirate, plotting to destroy the man's happiness and steal back what was rightfully his – his Swan.


	3. Part 3

**A/N:** Trigger warnings: There is self harm in this section, and lots of violence with a little swearing

* * *

She had invited Graham back to her bedroom for the first time ever, unwilling to allow him upstairs. She never invited men back to her room in fear that someone would see and rumors would spread. Even Killian had only been inside it a few times, when they were heated in the moment and feeling risky.

She walked over to her closet, changing into a nightdress, before crossing to the bed, lying down and waiting for Graham to follow. He removed his jacket and shirt and came to lie down right behind her, cuddling close to her and holding her waist as his body pressed up against hers.

"Goodnight, Graham," she said softly. Graham merely kissed her neck, exhausted from such an intense day.

She let her mind drift as Graham held her. She liked the way he felt around her. His touch was always delicate – _always_ – and he put just enough pressure on her body to make her feel safe. She felt relaxed when he was there, like he was protecting her, even with the littlest amount of contact.

He would never do anything to hurt her, never dream of it. He loved her too much to let anything happen. She hated to think she could cause him emotional pain. She had felt that way when Killian had died, and there was nothing she wanted less than to see him crumble like she had.

What saddened her the most was that she was actually considering hurting him.

As he was lying behind her, him feeling at ease and certain, she was thinking of leaving him for another man. And not just another man. It was for Killian, the man who had stood in their way for years, the one who still had him insecure, no matter how many times she ensured their love.

Graham's breathing became deeper, his chest rising and falling against her back in a calm fashion. It soothed her, made her feel at peace.

She started to hear his mouth move, similar to a baby sucking on a pacifier. That's when she knew he was sleeping. It was an unconscious habit of his that she loved. It helped her sleep whenever they were together. Hearing the quiet and constant white noise acted as a barrier between her and the real world, usually making falling asleep much easier.

She lifted his hand only enough to flip around until she was facing him. His features were relaxed, tranquil. She lifted up her hand to sweep a curl away from his forehead, lightly brushing his skin. His nose crinkled, making her giggle, silently.

How could she leave this man? One where even the simplest movements made her happy?

She couldn't.

Emma leaned up to briefly kiss his forehead. She rolled out from his grip until her feet were planted on the floor, putting on a robe and noiselessly leaving the room.

The hallways were dark, but she knew the castle by heart, and had memorized the way to the hidden bedroom even better. She took each step lightly, making sure that each creak was unheard by another person. The path seemed farther walking like this, in secret. Perhaps it was because she was anxious to see Killian, perhaps it was because she was frightened to see Killian – she didn't know – but it felt like an eternity until she made it to the oak door.

She opened it up without knowing, noticing Killian situated on his side, facing away from the door. His breathing was heavy, sharp, and very uneven, and her body tensed at the sight of him. She walked around until she was on the opposite side of the bed and she could see the man.

His eyes were closed, although he was clearly awake. His right hand was covering his left stump, gripping it much too tightly. She saw water streaks across his face as his eyelids bore a red tint from crying. Her heart sank as she looked at him before crawling on the bed beside him, lying so that their bodies were facing each other.

He opened his eyes at the new pressure on the bed, and she saw that his eyes were puffy, his cheeks flushed and his bottom lip trembling. She reached out her hand to touch his cheek.

"What troubles you, Killian?" Emma whispered, as if talking any louder would scare him.

He blinked his eyes, slowly, before looking back at her. "I can feel them, the pirates." She had never heard his voice so shaken.

Emma grabbed his right hand, pulling it away from the stump. His nails had dug into his skin so badly that blood was dripping from crescent marks. She brought the hand up to her mouth for a quick peck. "You're here, with me. There are no pirates near."

Uncertainty filled Killian's still watering eyes. "How do I know I'm not dreaming?" he asked, almost so quietly that she couldn't hear him.

Emma brought his hand down to her heart. "Do you feel this?" Killian nodded. "It's my heart, beating for you. If you're ever afraid, know that my heart beats for you." Emma took her hand that was touching his cheek and wiped away his tears. "I'm not going to leave you like this, Killian." He just looked at her, not quite believing her in his traumatic state.

Emma placed both of her hands on top of the one he had above her heart. They sat there silently, waiting for Killian's breath to steady. It took a while, but eventually it did. They stared at each other, studying the other's face.

"Do you love him?" Killian said into the darkness.

Emma nodded her head, allowing herself to be completely honest with him. "Yes."

Killian inhaled harshly, his eyes closing in pain, before letting it out slowly and looking at her. "Do you love me?"

Emma leaned over to kiss him, brushing her lips lightly against his still trembling ones. "Yes."

Killian gazed into her eyes, searching for any sign of deceit. "Was it before or after I left for the battle?"

"My heart belonged only to you until months after thinking you were dead." Emma said.

"And then?"

"Then it opened to love another. But I never stopped loving you, Killian."

"I saw you kiss him." Killian said, without any fluctuation on his voice. It was cold and heartless, hints of mistrust lacing the words. Killian's tortured face was slowly chipping away at Emma's heart, causing it to burn with grief and shame. "Why Graham?" he mumbled, his blue eyes watering.

"I don't know," Emma's voice started to crack and her eyes started to fill with tears at the sight of him.

"Why Graham?" Killian asked again, a little more forceful, telling her he needed an answer.

Emma took a deep breath. "He's cares for me, you know."

Killian rolled to his back, staring at the ceiling. "I know," he replied, quietly.

Emma scooted over until her head was lying on his chest, bringing his stumped arm around her shoulder. "I'm glad you're safe."

Killian took two short breaths before letting out a long one. "I know."

"I love you," Emma said.

Killian didn't reply.

Neither one of them talked again for the rest of the night. Killian's soft whimper was barely audible, but Emma could feel it throughout her whole body. She started to hum a tune, soft and sweet, to coax him into relaxation.

Killian had finally calmed down, and his body stilled. His movement was becoming more even with very little variation to it, and Emma could hear his heartbeat slow down. His arm, which had been brushing her back up and down for the past half hour, had winded down until it finally stopped. She moved her head slightly to look at his face, and the pained expression from earlier was replaced by a still one, one that reminded her of their budding love all those years ago.

Emma pressed her head back down on his chest. She missed this, she missed him. His smell, his body, his soul. She loved every piece of him, and lying on his stomach reminded her of all the years she spent loving him. Her heart still belonged to him, she knew it. She felt secure when she was around him, like their love was true, and she felt stable. There was no fear when it came to Killian, no hesitation. The only thing that mattered when they were together was that they loved each other.

After too long of time apart, Emma let herself close her eyes, drifting off into a untroubled sleep. She hadn't slept like this since he left for the battle, and she knew this was exactly where she wanted to be that night.

* * *

Emma woke Killian with a long kiss. He opened his eyes to look at her. The redness and puffiness was gone from his sleep, but his eyes still bared a sadness that Emma wanted to fade away.

Killian lifted his stump to place under her chin, lifting it up until her face was eye level with his. He stared at her as he was trying to regain his focus, remembering the conversation they had the night before. He shifted under her until he was standing, hopping over to the empty chair by the window overlooking the sea.

He watched her as she got out of bed, her face notably distraught. "It's early," he said after measuring the sun's position in the sky.

"I have to go." She said, walking over to him and kneeling. "I will be back later. Stay here."

Killian agreed before watching her leave the room. He sat in the chair by himself, his body tense from the demons that were surrounding him, the ones only he could see. His heart filled with blackness as soon as he was alone, his mind drifting into places that only evil goes. He stood up, the chair violently falling behind him. He brushed a hand through his hair as he hopped over to look at the window, trying to unsuccessfully calm himself.

Fire burned his eyes as he looked out the window, watching Emma get into a buggy with Graham's assistance. She kissed his cheek, throwing her hand out at him before he helped her mother enter the other side. Graham waved as the two rode off, out of the castle grounds, and Killian saw him turn back towards the entrance.

Killian found the closest thing he could pick up and threw it at the wall, watching it shred into pieces as it fell to the floor. He started to punch the wall with his right hand. Once his knuckles started to bleed, he stopped.

He had done this often when he was in the dark cave, by himself. The pain from his hand took his mind off his life. The terrible things that the pirates were doing to him were erased from his memory while he was hitting the cave wall, and the emotional turmoil he felt looking at Graham was driven away when he hit the secret bedroom's wall.

He started pacing around the room, the best he was able to with his worthless leg. The anger that drove him now was boiling in his chest. The desire to destroy was on the tip of his brain. His hatred was growing in his body until he knew he was no longer in control.

His body started to move on it's own accord. He pushed through the pain as he reached up to the curtains, pulling it down and taking the hook with him. He marched over to the door, determination in his eyes, as he whipped it open and started to descend the tower.

A tiny voice was fighting him, telling him this was not a rational decision. But, in his demonic state, he trudged forward, searching the castle for the one man he hated most in life.

Graham.

He started by going to the kitchen. He grabbed a knife from the counter, wiping its contents off on his pants, before sticking it in his handless-arm's sleeve. He looked around, seeing no one was there, and continued to the next room.

When no one was in the dining hall, he moved on.

When no one was in the parlor, he moved on.

He came to Emma's bedroom and pushed open the door. He looked around, wrath growing in his eyes as he noticed the bed. He could tell someone had slept in it the previous night and, knowing Emma had been with him, he knew the one person who had to have been in there.

He hopped over to the next room – Graham's room – and heard shuffling behind the door. Killian brought the hook up to the door and rapped it three times. He braced himself as he listened to footsteps approaching.

One step.

Two step.

Three step.

He noticed the jiggle of the handle from being reached for on the other side of the door. The door swung open slowly, Killian surging forward and jabbing the hook into Graham's arm.

He howled in pain as he took the hook out of his arm and hurled it across the room before looking at who had impaled him. Graham's body went stiff as he backed up from Killian, who had reached into his sleeve and displayed the knife.

"You took Emma," Killian growled. "You stole Emma from me." Killian stepped forward, following Graham's lead.

Graham's arm was searing in pain from the sharp tip of the hook. "You're dead," he stated, a slight fear lingering in his voice.

"No, I'm not," Killian replied. "I always knew you loved Emma, but she never believed me. I spent months, years telling her to replace you, knowing you wanted her. But she ensured me you didn't love her, told me that I was the only one for her." Killian waved the knife, not quite pursuing Graham, but threatening him all the same. "I spent a year tortured, the only thing keeping me going was knowing she was safe because of you," he hopped forward, Graham falling on the bed. "And what do I come home to?" he asked. Killian jumped on top of Graham, pinning him to the mattress as he held the knife against his skin. "She's mine, and I refuse to let you take her from me."

Graham swallowed before shoving back. Killian, because of his body's broken state, was suddenly lying on the floor, Graham now on top of him with the knife held above his head. "She's always loved me. She was merely blinded by you." Graham tilted his head, studying Killian's face. Killian showed no fear, no sign of weakness from being trapped. "When did you get back?"

Killian chuckled while bearing an evil grin. "Last night, when Emma left your engagement party." As if he suddenly gained strength back, he shifted under Graham and leaped out, reaching for the hook and turning back towards him. "Then she fucked me while you were downstairs, oblivious to the words she was crying out to me."

Graham's heart sunk in his chest. He rushed forward, trapping him against the wall as he held the knife up to his neck. "I don't believe you," he snarled. "Emma wouldn't do that to me." Deep down, Graham couldn't help but wonder if what he was saying was true. His explanation for her disappearance would make sense for the length of her time and the state he found her in. He shook the thought from his mind, refusing to believe Emma would betray him like that.

Killian took the hook and jabbed it into Graham's shoulder blade. Graham fell before him, dropping to a ball before jumping away from another attack. "Wouldn't she? She did it to me, with _you_." Killian swung the hook in the middle of the room. "Why wouldn't she do it to you, with _me_?"

Graham's personal anxiety reentered his heart as he looked at Killian. "What happened to you, lieutenant. We were told you were dead."

"I'm no lieutenant." Killian spat, gesturing to his body. "I was taken captive. And, while you were here, fucking my fiancé, I was learning how to survive." He wobbled over until he was close enough for Graham to hear, even if he was whispering. "I was learning how to be a pirate."

"A pirate? And you think Emma would want anything to do with a pirate?" Graham nearly laughed.

Killian leaned back and started to examine the hook with his eyes, sliding it over his stump with a hint of warning in his face. "Perhaps not," he measured, before looking back at Graham. "But, as a pirate, I have no remorse for doing _this_ to anyone who gets in my way of me and my treasure." Killian whipped the hook at Graham, it digging right above his heart. Graham staggered down, dropping the knife and lying on the floor.

With a new energy foreign to him, Killian ran over and pushed the hook slightly deeper into his chest. "You're fortunate for Emma, otherwise your head would be hanging right now." Killian dug the hook out of his chest before dragging him, by the feet, to the closet. He grabbed a strip of fabric from the bottom of Graham's shirt, sticking it in his mouth and tying it behind his head, taking another strip and tying his hands together. Killian then stuffed him in the closet and threw a blanket on top of him, shutting the door. "Goodbye, Graham," he muttered while turning around and leaving the room, smiling at the pool of blood that was surrounding Graham in the closet.

He closed the door to Graham's room, tossing the hook up in the air and catching it, and whistled his way out of the castle to the pier.

* * *

Emma returned after visiting a seamstress. She was making finishing touches on her wedding dress, which was now only two days away. Her mother asked her why she was so distracted, but she didn't respond, only shaking her head and ignoring the question.

Once they arrived back at the castle, Emma went straight up to the hidden room. She opened it and walked in, looking around to find Killian. She was surprised to see broken furniture and bloodied walls, knowing Killian had never been a violent person before he left. After thoroughly deciding Killian was not in the room, she turned around and walked down the staircase, a tear sliding down her face when she realized he was gone.

She walked around the castle, catching her breath and rearranging her thoughts. It took her a while to realize that Graham was not standing next to her, nor following her. She was so entrapped in her mind that his presence, though missed, had been unnoticed. Emma decided to go searching for her guardian, not quite sure what she would say to him when she found him.

She couldn't find him, though. He wasn't in any of his usual places in the castle, which she found quite peculiar. He always left a note if he was not going to be where he said he would be.

The last room, which she never went into due to the privacy, was Graham's own bedroom. She knocked quietly, hoping he might be sleeping, that being the reason he wasn't responding, and opening the door. There were no lights – only a tiny crack of sunlight from where the curtains did not quite reach the frame of his windows.

She opened it to allow more brightness into the room and screamed. She saw blood flung all across the room. She covered her mouth, scared to think what might have happened in here. She saw a knife on the floor, which she grabbed quickly, incase whomever attacked this room was still lurking nearby. She looked down and saw a subtle path of red that led to the closet. Curiosity engulfed her, and she followed it until she reached the closet. She brought the knife up with her right hand as she opened the door with her left.

She saw Graham's white blanket, completely drenched in blood while a pool flowed beneath it. Emma reached out and grabbed it by the tip, finding the only location that didn't have blood on it, and yanked it.

"Graham!" she shouted as she knelt before the unconscious man. She took the knife and cut through both the mouth and hands fabric. Graham only fell forward without the weight of the door to keep him upright. His eyes stayed closed as his face became stained with red.

Emma stood up and ran out of the room, calling for anyone to help her. She soon found two guards who helped transfer him to a cot and brought him to the infirmary, where the castle doctor started working on him.

Emma's heart was beating fast as she watched them work before her eyes. Tears were dripping down her face. She turned away and walked over to a bucket of water, dipping her hands in and trying to wash off the blood that found its way to her hands.

She gave one last longing look at the man before walking out, completely numb, and finding her way to her own room. She sat down in front of the mirror, looking at her reflection, picking up her hairbrush, and stroking her blonde locks, counting each swipe.

She refused to think about Graham, nearing death in surgery.

She refused to think about Killian, missing without notice.

She forced herself to look into the mirror and brush her hair, frozen in her bedroom.

* * *

_**One year ago, on the first night Killian was captured…**_

_Killian's legs and arms were tied with a rough rope, his body tied to a wooden chair. A man was circling him, observing him and watching his every move. _

"_Who are you?" Killian asked, hoping his voice was more forceful than he felt._

"_How rude of me. I'm Captain Itim, but you can just call me Blackbeard. Now, the real question is, who are you?" Blackbeard took a step closer and bent down, his face right next to Killian's._

_Killian spat in his face. Blackbeard wiped his face off on his puffy shirt before standing. "Bad form, soldier." Blackbeard slapped Killian's face, it stinging as Killian looked back at him._

"_Let me go!" Killian shouted, trying to escape from the ropes._

_Blackbeard shook his head. "Nah-ah-ah. Tell me, boy, where are you from?"_

"_King David's kingdom," Killian said, straightening up with pride. "He'll come looking for me, you'll see."_

_Blackbeard rolled his eyes, continuing to circle him. "Why would he look for one measly naval soldier?"_

_Killian didn't answer. _

"_Ah, that's what I thought. Now, what is your name?"_

"_Killian. Killian Jones."_

"_The princess' betrothed? Perhaps he will come looking for you. Oh, this could not have been any better. MR. SMEE!" he called out, a short, fat man running over next to him. "Take care of Mr. Jones, please."_

"_Aye, aye, Captain," Smee responded. "My pleasure."_

"_I'll be back soon, Mr. Jones, when you've become more complacent." Blackbeard walked away, laughing in the distance as Smee approached him. _

_He called out and three more pirates came, swords, rocks, and hands all bare, coming towards him._

_Killian closed his eyes as the four men began his first night of torture. With each punch, jab, grab, pull, and hit, Killian pictured Emma, holding him, waiting for the men to leave._

_Killian sat hunched over the chair, the four men long gone. His bruises and cuts were so deep that he could feel them without being touched. His heart pounded in his chest, trying to figure out a way out of this cave and back into Emma's arms. _

_He heard footsteps coming from behind him, walking towards where he was sitting. He tensed, but his body wouldn't allow him to sit up. Whomever was coming towards Killian finally reached him, putting a single finger under his chin to force his face up. Killian winced at the pain, but looked at him._

"_Help me," Killian pleaded, not knowing if this was a man he could trust._

"_I would, but then I would be in trouble with Blackbeard. And, I can only assume from your current predicament, you'd know why I have no desire to help you." The man said._

_Killian took a deep breath. He started to cry, the regret of showing such exposed emotion flown way past him. "I just want to go home," he sobbed. "I don't want to be here anymore."_

_The man circled him once. "Can I give you some advice?" Killian didn't respond. The man took that as a signal to continue on. "Think of something, hold on to something – anything. You will be going through hell here, you will see evil more than your darkest imagination can conjure up. Whatever you choose, hold onto it. Remember it." The man knelt down and forced Killian to look into his eyes. "If you don't hold onto the hope, the wickedness will begin to control you. If you don't hold on to that one dear thing, you won't survive here."_

_The man stood up and walked away._

_Killian thought of Emma, and he thought of Emma for days, weeks, months. The thought of reuniting with her was what kept him going, kept him alive. He thought of her, day and night, while he was being tortured or while he was neglected. He was always thinking of her, seeing her face and reminding himself why he had to keep going._

_Until one day, he didn't think of Emma anymore. _

_The darkness had finally taken over him. His soul was forgotten, his mind taken over by evil._

* * *

_**Present day…**_

Emma's hair was starting to tug on her scalp. The pain, getting too great for her to push through, caused her to stop, throwing the brush at the mirror. The mirror didn't break, but it bounced, causing Emma's reflection to bubble before her.

The castle doctor knocked on her door. "Princess, may we speak?"

Emma turned around and nodded, gesturing him into her bedroom.

"Well, I have some reports for you. Graham will live with little to no damage physically."

Emma jumped up and ran over to the doctor, nearly knocking him over as she hugged him. "Thank you, thank you!" she cried into his shoulder. "Thank you!"

The doctor patted her before pulling her back. "However, I do have some bad news. He is going to be in a coma for at least a week and a half, with a lot of physical therapy afterwards. He will most likely not remember what happened to him prior to his current state, so we won't be able to punish whoever did this to him." He turned towards the door. "I apologize for whatever happened to him."

"It's not your fault, Doctor."

"One last thing, which I hate to mention. Because of this, your wedding is going to have to be postponed for a while."

Emma nodded, realization overcoming her body. "Thank you, for everything."

He walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

Emma walked back to her mirror, letting out a deep breath that had been holding since she saw Graham on the floor hours ago. She frowned at herself, disgusted with the picture she saw in the mirror.

Because she was happy, but not because Graham was going to live.

She was happy because it meant that she could spend all her time exclusively with Killian.

* * *

Killian sat on the dock, swinging his legs. He felt a calmness start to float back into his body, whatever monster was controlling him hours before finally drifting away. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

He watched the sun setting, the sky turning pink as it sunk lower and lower towards the sea. How he had wished to see this very sight every day for over a year.

It made him sick now.

Killian looked at the hook that was resting on the dock next to him. He found it quite useful when he was pushing it into Graham's skin. He felt powerful, unstoppable. He liked the feeling of having control, after spending so many days defenseless and vulnerable. Killian picked it up with his right hand, twirling it in his hand while the sun shined across its slick, silver metal, illuminating it with brightness.

Using the hook, he chopped off the tip of the wooden dock. Once it had been cleanly severed, he set it in front of him, placing his legs around it to keep it from falling into the water.

He brought the hook down into the middle of the block of wood.

He did it again.

And again.

And again.

After hours, Killian looked at his finished product. He lifted it up and placed it on his stump. The block easily slid over it, encasing it comfortably at the same time as it hugging it so it would not fall off. He moved around his arm and found it was a perfect fit. He put his arm vertically and dropped the bottom of the hook into a tiny hole on the top, swiveling it upon entrance until he heard a _"click"_. He let go of the hook with his right hand before waving his left all around.

The hook didn't fall off.

The brace didn't fall off.

Killian brought his new limb in front of his body, a grin etching across his face, his eyes focusing in on the hook. "Now that's better," he said in a voice much deeper than his own.


End file.
